Once Blind Bart

So I’m making my way through the book of Leviticus. Ever read Leviticus? If you know me, you can probably see my face right now and hear me sigh. I’m trying not to. I’m trying to keep an open  mind. I’m trying not to quit my Bible in a year plan. For the eighth time. 5 useless points if you notice the key phrase in the past few sentences.

“I’m trying” is the correct answer for your nonexistent prize. Is anyone else trying? And trying, then trying some more? Do you try to figure everything out? Do you think you need to try harder?

But the key phrase in the book of Leviticus that I made note of today (in my brand-new Bible I might add. EEEEeeee!!!) is : “God spoke to Moses” and Moses says, “This is what God has commanded to be done.” And Moses did it: “Just as God had commanded Moses.” BAM. Just like that.

Now, I do not understand the why. I don’t get why all this had to be done. I reeeeally don’t understand the right ear, right thumb, and right big toe blood-smearing ritual. And quite honestly, if I see someone with blood smeared in those places I’m running the other direction faster than I did in basketball. And I can hear non-believers going, “Are you kidding? Why would a God who loves you make you do that??” because I honestly sit here, going, “Are you kidding?” I can’t explain it. I can’t attain it. Jesus your looooove, is so uh-mazin’, it gets me hiiiiiiigh, up to the skyyyy, and when I think about your goodness, it makes me wanna, STOMP! Sorry, a Kirk Franklin, God’s Property chorus flashback just took over.) Did I mention I’m on steroids for a recent virus I acquired? Talk about hiiiiiiigh…I don’t do well on meds. I’m doing good today if I can find my right ear, right hand, and right foot.

Moving on, let’s jump to Mark 10:46-52, Bart’s story. He sat, probably with a beat-up cup and maybe an adorable, but mangy dog to keep him company, his only friend. I’m sure everyone in town knew him as the beggar to avoid. Can’t you hear people talking?

Jed: “Yeah, Blind Bart, that’s Tim’s son. I don’t even walk that side of the road anymore because of him.”

Mabel: “Yes, he should be more considerate.”

Jed: “They should make that road bigger. Where are our tax denariusgoing?”

In the MSG Bible, it says Jesus was leaving town, trailed by his disciples, and a parade of people. So I imagine that Bartimaeus heard the commotion and everyone’s excitement. When’s the last time he was excited about anything, I wonder. Here’s his last chance, this Jesus guy is outta there and if he doesn’t act now, his opportunity is gone. What could it hurt? To trust in something? Someone, just one more time? As someone who’s been on the “medical merry-go-round” for close to two decades, I know how hard it is to put some hope in someone else.  

Bart: “SON OF DAVID, JESUS! MERCY, HAVE MERCY ON ME!”

People of the town: “Shhhhh! Shut up, Bart!! What’s he gonna do for you? He’s not even looking your way. You’re making a fool of yourself, man! Geez! Could you be any more uncool??”

Bart: “SON OF DAAAAAAAVIIIIIID!! MERCY, HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!!”

I imagine Bart lowering his head, discouraged, then he hears them calling him. “It’s your lucky day! Get up! He’s calling you to come!”

I’m guessing those people had never seen him move so fast! After all, what did he have to get excited about? He throws off his coat and is on his feet at once.

 Jesus: “What can I do for you?”

Bart: “Rabbi, I want to see.”

Jesus: “On your way. Your faith has saved and healed you.”

In that very instant he recovered his sight and followed Jesus down the road. (Mark 10:49-52)

Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m ecstatic for Once Blind Bart (see what I did there?) but the questions just keep coming to me. Why did Jesus ask what he wanted when He already knew? Why didn’t people get healed as Jesus walked by? We have to want it, right? What do we need to do to show that we want it? And I know Jesus can, but whyyyyyyyy doesn’t it happen for everyone this way? I’m trying to have faith. Did you catch it again? Maybe today, we’re trying too hard. Maybe today…we just accept that blind faith can change anyone’s situation completely.

Ditchin’ the Dis’s

Defeated. That’s exactly how I’ve felt for the past…oh…let’s call it 2 months and probably longer if I was honest. I was disgusted, disappointed, disgruntled and a whole of of other negative words. (Is there a “gruntled”? Maybe it’s like “overwhelmed,” but not “whelmed.” I’m gonna let it go and move on.) So in my prayer time, I would whine to God about how awful this planet was, how hard, and how ugly. I’d tell Him that I couldn’t wait for Him to rescue us all and how happy we’d be when He did. I don’t know if God has a “rubber face” like I do, but if He does, then He’s surely better able to contain His head shake and eyeroll at me. Or maybe He doesn’t. “Lorrrrrrd, why did he die? Lorrrrrrd, what in this free world are You doing?? Why can’t You help me get it together? Why are people so mean to each other?” just to name a few.

And while I’m trying to pick a Bible study to refresh my brain, Looooorrrrd knows I need it, I’m flipping through Deuteronomy and come across chapter 28, verse 7. “The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you.” So as it turns out, I’m not the one who’s supposed to feel defeated.

Now let me just preface this with I’m not a big fan of the Old Testament (yeah, I said it Gertie). Anytime there are mentions of foreskins in a pile somewhere, I’m a little um, well, let’s just say I have enough trouble applying some of the more direct life lessons. Are y’all googlin’ that? It’s in 1 Samuel 18. EEK!

Back to Deuteronomy 28, He’s talking about blessings for obedience. So if you’re like me, I don’t like the word “obedience.” It kinda ruffles my fur and I picture my dog with her mohawk sticking straight up when something’s not quite right on the homefront. Obedience and submission. Ew. 2 words that make my rubber face cringe. I may never get this written…

“IF you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth.” Not only are you blessed everywhere, but the blessings will overtake you.

Blessings these days, in 2024, look a little different in my head (imagine that). I’m going to have to think on what each of these equate to in this day:

The fruit of my womb, fruit of my ground, and fruit of my cattle, increasing my herd and the young of my flock, a blessed basket, and a blessed kneading bowl, a blessed barn, all that I undertake; I’m called holy, His people, and everyone will know it, I’ll abound in prosperity, all within the land that the Lord swore to give me. He’ll open his “good treasury” the heavens, to give me rain in its season and to bless all the work of my hands. I’ll be lending, not borrowing. I’m the head, not the tail. I’ll keep going up, not down. IF I obey the commandments of the Lord my God, being careful to DO them, and to not get distracted (LORD!) by other gods at the right or left.

I’m praying all kinds of God’s blessings for you today in Jesus’ name, know that.

Ditchin’ the Valley

4 years ago this coming February, on the coldest day of the year, my family was driving along a country road. Sounds peaceful, right? It wasn’t. I had just finished grocery shopping with a 6- and 7-year-old, the hubs was driving too fast (so is life with an ex-EMT), so peace was not on the menu at that moment.

In a ditch, but so close to the road it made my belly button pucker, was what looked like a small, black and white cat. Maybe a shivering skunk.

We had been looking for a family canine. And we had pretty much given up after fostering a very excited, very strong, very untrained rescue who had landed me in a clinic getting X-rays twice. Not the dog for us with 2 Wylie babies in the house and apparently me, with what seemed to be suddenly brittle bones.

This hunkering, quivering mess of a dog, yes definitely a dog we figured out, alongside the road did not look anything like what we had in mind. My thrilled* hubby turned around and that was that, as they say. That mess** was ours.

She was almost too drained to move, but she “fought” with all she had. This pup was the prime example of her bark was much worse than her bite; especially since she couldn’t muster the energy to bark. She only growled. She tried to snarl and snap, attempting to look viscious and mean, but the fear in her eyes was obvious. I remember looking at her, because I’m out of our vehicle now, staring at her with compassion-filled wonder she was still in this world.

She could barely move her hind legs, so she drug herself to hide behind the tires. Behind the tires. SUVs aren’t known for their delicate nature, but a smart car or a large foot could’ve taken this creature out. Imagine choosing to hide right next to the thing that could take you out.

I grabbed my son’s coat that he surprisingly wore without argument that day and a beef stick from one of the grocery bags. This frail, dehydrated little thing smelled the meat and could hardly decide what to do next.

The choices were:

a) trust me enough to get the nourishment she needed

b) stay exactly where she had been

One of the most precious moments of my life to this day was when she, now with a full belly, wrapped in my warm arms, a fleece-lined coat, and pure unconditional love, breathed the sweetest and largest sigh of relief as she collapsed against me.

We found out from the emergency vet that this 3.5 pound, severely-dehydrated critter was supposed to be 7-10 pounds and that she probably wouldn’t have survived another week. (I could write about God’s timing here, but will continue on for now.)

My point is that it’s possible that what we’re leaning against isn’t what we need right now. We could be hiding right next to what can hurt us. And I get it. We can get to a point where we don’t care as much as we should, maybe even thinking “No one else cares, so why should we?” A very wise man (ok, it was my Poppie) said to me once “Not caring is a bad place to be.”

The one and only Miss CoraLou surrendered. She allowed what she needed most, even though she wasn’t sure what that was, into her life. She was at a loss of what to do next, but she knew making an altogether different choice had to be better than where she was. Sometimes it’s not up to us. And sometimes it is.

Prayers for you today as you make the choice to surrender or help someone else as they do.

*Read: Completely unthrilled.

**For the record, we did exhaust all possibilities that she was indeed not someone else’s mess.**

Addicted to Hate

Some are so accustomed to being hated, that’s the fix, stronger than any drug. They don’t even hate others, but they, in fact, need the loathing. That’s what they’re addicted to: others hating them and showing it on a regular basis. I never realized that it’s not just self-loathing, but others detesting them is also what they crave. And they may not even know it. There’s still that hope there that it will get better and this time will be different. But in the end, it’s easier to accept pure hatred than it is to change. It’s the normal that they’re used to. 

The enemy has succeeded in getting that grasp, whether it’s their mind or their heart, or both. Regardless, the light in their eyes is ever so slowly being dimmed, the fire snuffed to just embers. “You are loved” bounces off like a racquetball from a wall. They’re surrounded by the wrong force field. Their truth has been skewed. And no matter how we try or how hard we cry, it is God Alone Who convinces them that what they trust is the opposite of truth. It hurts like screaming hot flames seeing them that close to true freedom and watching them choose lies again.  

It’s almost automatic to wonder what more we could have done, and the truth is: there’s always more. We could’ve given one more hug, said one more prayer, and shown one more smile. But another truth is this: they made the choice.

Praying for those today that believe the lies, hope for better days, and the families that continue to pray. Never stop tearing down those force fields; the truth could be right at the surface now, no longer buried deep within. Breakthrough is coming in Jesus’ name.

The 3 P’s

Think for just a second about being in a war. You come face to face with the enemy after hiding for so long. You finally know what he looks like, how he moves, even what his breath smells like…and it’s not good. You see the weapons he’s using against you, all of them, whether they’re physical, emotional, or otherwise. You look deep into his dark eyes and as you do…you silently hand him the weapon you have in your hand. 

Wait, what? Yes, you give him your weapon. He was running out of ideas and feeling discouraged, but thanks to you, he’s more than reenergized has tons of helpful hints now. It’s pretty clear that you’d like to defeat your enemy, but your odds of that just went a little wonky when you handed over your weapon.   

The obvious question: Why did you choose to give him your weapon?

I personally think it’s… 

A) because we don’t know what to do with it.  

B) we don’t know how powerful it is. 

C) we don’t know what day it is sometimes. 

D) all of the above.  

If we have a gun, a “typical” weapon that we may use in a fight, we know its power, its purpose, and its place. Do you know these 3 “P’s” when it comes to the weapon God gave us against the enemy of our souls? 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Our words have power and God’s Word, our weapon, has the most power. We are told to “bridle (control) our tongue” and “let no corrupting (shady) talk come out of our mouths.” We are to “breathe out Scripture” just as God did because His Word should flow like air right through us because it is truth. One of the apostles said, For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has Himself given me a commandment—what to say and what to speak. (We don’t even have to come up with our own words in this war!) The Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning (recognizing, noticing, differentiating) the thoughts and intentions of the heart.  

It occurs to me that His Word has a purpose, definitely has power, and always has a place! It leaves, or left, His mouth and our words, just like His, do not return empty. They accomplish what we say they will. Our words will accomplish what WE purpose (hopefully it’s exactly what HE purposes as well) and succeed in the thing for which WE send it. So if we say anything other than good and true things, we’re placing our weapon into the enemy’s hand. What we speak has power and if we’re not using it for our good, we’re using it for the opposite. 

God’s Word (did you catch that? It’s His Words!) is constantly at work within us, as believers. We are not to keep it to ourselves or leave it at home when we fight against the enemy. Our battles can be won simply by speaking what our amazing Father said. “If you abide in my Word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Free, free, FREE! Do you feel at liberty and unbound today? If not, it could be because of your own mouths!  

God said everything in heaven and earth will pass away, but His words? Nope. They’re here to stay. Do you know how important God’s words are then? How unbelievable that He gives them to us to use on a daily basis. There are words to use for every single scenario we face… 

Are you afraid of losing your job? Psalm 73:23-24 He holds us and guides us. We are never alone. 

Online shopping addiction? Luke 12:15 Life doesn’t consist of what one possesses. 

Don’t feel like anyone notices, much less loves you, today? Luke 15:11-32, Luke 23:43, 1 John 1:9 God truly forgives us. Every. Single. Time. 

And we’re just gonna pass these tools over to the enemy? That’s what we do, it’s what I do, it’s what we’ve all done. Let’s stop. Simple as that. Stop using your own words to defeat your own self. Let’s stop cursing our days and speak life. Let’s let our words do what the Creator intended: to be a tree of life, gracious, and perfectly seasoned.  

References: Hebrews 4:12, Proverbs 18:21, James 1:26, Ephesians 4:29, John 17:17, John 12:49, Isaiah 55:11, John 8:31-32, Proverbs 15:4, Colossians 4:6, Colossians 3:8 

It Isn’t Well

What if it isn’t well with my soul, God? What if everything in my world just got shaken to the point of never being the same? I’ve never known shock or loss or heartache such as this.  

I know my world shaking doesn’t throw you off your throne, but I think that brings about more questions than answers for me at this point. You are on the throne, right? Why aren’t you stopping these things from happening? I know you can make all the bad turn into good and work out for the best, but why bother doing that? Why not work good for good without the mess?  

Hearts are shattered. Rivers of tears flowing. Your people are hurting and I’d love with all my heart to be the one saying “It is well” but I can’t. It hurts too bad for that right now. God, I know you’re good. I know you weep with us. But why would you if you don’t have to? I know you have a plan, but why would that plan involve removing the pillars of the foundation for your kingdom? We need you now. You gave your life so that we could have ours. It’s a very sad one right now. I know we don’t have to understand everything. Maybe we wouldn’t feel better knowing all the why’s, but it sure feels like that would soothe the pain somehow.  

We continue to look to you Father for comfort when we need it most. The enemy is doing exactly as you said he would: stealing, killing, and destroying. And you are doing exactly what you said you would: comforting, providing, healing, and bringing peace. God, I’m empty and numb. I need you to fill me up with everything you’ve ever promised. You’ve never let me down and I know you won’t start now. I hope you will lead me to the place where I’m able to say “It is well.” 

Craving Life

Today I find myself craving more. I need more than what I’m able to do. I need to experience more than what I’m able to accomplish. I need more. There has to be more than simply staring at this miniature computer in my hands. I feel like I’m missing something. TV no longer has any appeal. I don’t want to see dead bodies, crimes, or step into the twisted minds of those committing the crimes, individuals making really bad choices and living below the abundant life, or people winning money for answering dumb questions there should be no use in knowing. I don’t want to sound superior, I’m just sharing my heart. I need more than what TV or my phone has to offer.  

I don’t want my kids growing up thinking TV is god or never seeing my face without a device in front of it. I don’t want them thinking that I find googling random things or socializing with strangers more entertaining than they are. I want more for them too. I don’t want them thinking that the internet is the be-all/end-all for life. Isn’t it strange how unfulfilling it is even though we’re full of information? I don’t need more worldly knowledge, I need more life in my life.  

Proverbs 3:13 says “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding…” I feel like I have understanding in some areas, but not in the ones I truly desire to have it. What’s the point in comprehension of things that don’t matter to me? Or to God? I wanna “get” what God says. I know that makes me different, but maybe not so different from you. The only way I can come up with to do that is to study, actually study, what the Creator of the universe says. Then listen when He wants to say something to me. (I’ve heard the world try to tell people this means you’re crazy. If so, put me down as a nutcase. God talks to me. Get over it.)  

I’m making it a point, especially this week, to take the time to listen for the wisdom God wants me to know. There is a fulfillment that can only come from what He has to offer and I’m waiting patiently and expectantly for it.  

Dirty Ice Cream

Smith Wigglesworth said, “You must have a brokenness to get into the depths of God.” Psalm 34:18 lets us know that the “Lord is near to those who have a broken heart.” I haven’t met many Christians who haven’t been through some “stuff.” That word “stuff” covers a lot of ground. Loss, hurt, disappointments, tragedy, physical, emotional, and spiritual pain, just scratches the surface it seems. People are amazingly resilient, but without God, I can honestly say I don’t know how anyone would make it through a fraction of it. Without truly knowing that God is in control and that He’s not shakin’ in His proverbial boots, many of my own days would have sucked even more. (How’s that for waxing poetic?) I’m just trying to be honest here.  

This life is hard and to say it stinks sometimes just doesn’t cover it. And I can’t do “churchy” when real people have real problems. “I’ll be praying” doesn’t cut it when brokenness threatens to take over. Don’t misunderstand me, prayer works, and if more believers were doing more of it, we’d be changing more situations. God will answer your prayer. I believe that. The brokenness that unbelievers feel must be the most gut-wrenching, detrimental emotion because I know my own brokenness is that way sometimes with God on my side. Jesus loves me, and He loves me so much He allows me to grow. That means life isn’t ice cream and rainbows and puppies. That ice cream may fall in the dirt, the colors fade into dreary gray, and that puppy pees everywhere. That’s real life. And for real life, we need to turn to the One Who created it. He’s not responsible for cleaning up our messes, but for some reason He helps us out of so many of them. We’re here for a reason and we can’t lose focus. Losing focus is the easiest, wide path. Truly learning Who God is and how far His love reaches for us individually should be on our To-Do list for the days/weeks/months/years ahead.  

The Flicker

I sit here reflecting on what an amazing thing family is. Simple. People helping other people. Knowing full-well who you can count on. The individuals that would never hurt you if they could keep from it. Hugs. Smiles. Peace. Encouragement. I have all of this in my family, whether they’re in the same house or living in a different state. God has blessed me with role models, really great, strong ones who never surrender, even though there are days they want to. With tears in their eyes, they say “I’m doin’ ok” when you ask and you believe it, because we have a prayer-answering Father. And even though you may see some of their hurt, or that flicker of pain in their eyes, you have faith that they are ok. And on those days they want to quit, you’re able to remind them of that flame, that flicker of strength they possess, that can’t be extinguished, no matter the battle. No matter the odds or statistics. Diagnoses, injuries, heartbreak, and aches that most will never know about, will one day be erased. God is Alpha and Omega and those who call Him family can rely on His strength. We get tired, frustrated, offended, and discouraged, but with Him as our Father, we don’t lose. We get to look on His face one day and as every single individual’s knee bows, we will get it. We will finally comprehend what all of this has been for. And all the stress and anxieties of this short life will be a distant notion we can’t seem to recall. So if you don’t have the kind of family I do, be family for someone else. Hug freely. Smile incessantly. Sit beside someone and just be there in the moment. Breathe. And if you don’t know what a real relationship is like with the Creator of this place we call home for awhile, chase after it. Boldly ask God to open your eyes to that love that is like no other.

God>Buddha.

Persecution by Facebook? Weird. The post quite simply stated: “God>Buddha.” This is my belief. Wholeheartedly. The Living Creator of the universe and also my living, breathing, being wins against a mere mortal, especially one who is no longer with us, any day. But I digress. The following, lest anyone think I could post something such as this without thought, is a brief overview of what went through my head regarding the topic for nearly a week after.

Day 1: It’s my page and I’ll post what I want.

Day 2: I did stand for what I believe since I posted 2 names (One was the Creator of the Universe and the other, a man the first, also known as Alpha, created, who had amazing principles for life… as does the Creator’s Son, ironically)

Day 3: I’ll supply the reason behind the post. I believe many are looking for something, yet don’t know what or who. I understand that because I’ve been there. I’ve been in that place where you need more and grow exhausted due to not finding it. And the answer certainly isn’t in mere individuals because they are just that, individual humans searching for truth themselves. The Buddhist principles offer peace, a beautiful serenity that so many crave in this world. But true peace is found in the One Who created Buddha. I believe we serve a living God and I’ve seen miracles in this country and another as well that cannot be explained away.

Day 4: Simply because one doesn’t believe in God doesn’t make Him any less real.

Day 5: It’s weird that my Buddhist friends aren’t offended…

Each of these days, I have prayed for those who haven’t experienced God the way I have. It is my opinion and also a fact that God is greater because the creation does not supersede the Creator Himself. This is what I believe.