Whoopty-doo was my mantra…who cares…definitely not me…”Lord give me strength…and if you don’t feel like doin’ that, that’s ok too.” This was my mindset yesterday. The defeatist/victim attitude had settled right inside my very core. I knew it was there–tried to combat it with TV. Nope, not a good idea. Reality TV will NEVER be noted for its helpfulness. Note: See My Thoroughly-Worn Recliner for a more detailed analysis.
Music? I spoke the words, “Oh shut UP!” to the innocent band on Sirius’ Radio’s The Message. The cat would look up, with quizzical eyes, “Meow…Meow?” to which I replied, “WHAT do you WANT??” How incredibly annoying can one 8 lb. furry pet be? I attempted to read, but couldn’t care less about what happened in the last 20 pages of a book I had previously enjoyed. Have you ever annoyed the life out of yourself? That’s where I found myself. Had I had a choice, I would not have chosen to hang out with me for at least a good week…you know, to give me time to prioritize; and THEN I’d show myself what a good friend I was…to myself.
I’m sure some of you are out there wonderin’, “Why didn’t you pick up your Bible and read? Scripture always helps.”
Can I just admit right here that sometimes I’m not in the mood to hear what God has to say on the subject? I’m learnin’ that it’s ok to be honest with yourself and there’s no sense in hidin’ from the One who made ya. My tear-off calendar blatantly states: “God doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but he does insist on complete honesty. None of God’s friends in the Bible were perfect. If perfection was a requirement for friendship with God, we would never be able to be his friends.” Some days are easier to believe my tear-off calendar than others.
Matthew 11:19 shows that Jesus was a friend of sinners, including, but not limited to, gluttons, drunks, and tax collectors. I personally think it’s time I decided to get real with God. I’m not one to walk on eggshells and He knows that. If He can handle these guys, surely He can handle one o’ my moods!
Do you ever do that? You’re not willing to put yourself out there for fear of someone believin’ you were always like that? What would we do if people thought for an instant we weren’t chipper or sarcastic or intelligent or full of joy all the time? What happens if we aren’t who we perceive others perceive us to be 24/7? How incredibly frustrating and exhausting (even to those not battling CFS!) to constantly put on a mask or a show (AND not get paid for it!)!
Sometimes I have trouble relating scriptures to today’s issues, but Matt. 11:28 sums it up pretty well…especially when you’re burdened with and weary of is yourself.