Now, the enemy of our souls had a field day with all of this, don’t cha know? He not only attended the pity party, but also began the battle within the battlefield of my mind. (Thank you Joyce Meyer for writing a book just for me.) You see, it hadn’t been that long…maybe 6 months prior to all of this that I sought help for my drinking. This occurred because of many prayers of my husband and others I won’t meet until heaven I’m sure. I listened to the bottom of a beer can speak to me: “You don’t have to do this.” I sure thought I did. It had always helped me to block out so much before. That was the last one I drank before I called up a Christian counseling group in the area and made an appointment with an angel. Now, keep in mind that my plan was to hit the liquor store drive through after my session with her, but God had other plans. I didn’t realize it then, but I liked His so much better. That woman with the amazing God-smile prayed for me and March 12, 2009 was the beginning of my new life. It was a 1-step program for me and I was never more thankful as I adore skip-stepping whenever I can. (Ask my husband, I can’t follow a recipe to save my life.)
That was March, glorious March, praise God! In June, my husband and I left our addiction to nicotine on an altar and haven’t touched them since. Only God can do that. I had smoked for 14 years and tried to quit on my own numerous times before, no less than 10, and to no avail. It’s one of the most discouraging things in the world to finally get up the nerve to do something and then fail. The enemy weasels his way into that like a, well, weasel.
At the beginning of my newfound freedom, I was training for my first 5K. I’ve always wanted to be a runner! Gracefully sweaty with a driven purpose to reach that goal, giving God the glory and simultaneously repenting for the way I bashed the body He created for so many years. (Important note: I plan to cross a finish line somewhere this summer, whether I’m running, limping, or crawling.)
I got sick not long after I/we had been freed from the ugliness that is addiction. I had so many thoughts enter my mind on a daily basis that it made me sicker…more sick?…I was sick. I would go out and run/walk and collapse when I got home, not in the usual way one might. I’d be dizzy and lightheaded while my muscles decided to give out and quit for the rest of the day. I tried to be all righteous and run anyway, but it turns out people get concerned when a woman runs in a zig-zag pattern beside the road, ironically seeming as though she is drunk.
God is so good and I sit amazed as I type that He makes a way to change lives no matter what. For some reason. God always has a plan and I try my best to stick with it. Most days…except on the days when I throw pity parties for myself and no one comes.
Be a blessing to someone today–they may just be going through one of the hardest times of their lives.