What do you do when your faith can’t move a rock? What do you do when your faith won’t move a piece of gravel that sits in front of you, staring you down? What do you do when you can’t fix cancer? Or keep someone you love from going through the worst pain of their life? What do you do when you feel like God is just waiting for that opportune time to fix things when OBVIOUSLY the best time is now?
I’ll tell you what I do. I get really impatient, to the point of screaming and throwing things. Sometimes I clean house like a mad woman, all the while saying words that should have been left behind in a small-town factory. I question everything. Everything including my life’s purpose, what God truly has in store for me, if I’ll ever get there, how I’ll get there from where I am. Then when I’m close to defeating myself with myself, the enemy comes in. I hear things in my head like “WHAT are you doing? Why would you even bother? Are you really making a difference? What could you possibly do in this situation to make it better?” And as I hear this being whispered in my ever-so-willing ear, and after I’ve pouted for a little while, (because let’s be honest we all like to pout and stomp our feet for at least a little bit) I start to believe it a teeny bit more each time. The enemy is so patient. He’ll wait for us to slowly believe it and in the words of Terri Clark, “I just want to be mad” sometimes. It’s what my fleshy nature loves to do and I can be quite good at it. The enemy is helping me to perfect it. Unfortunately, at times, we work as a very productive team.
However, in the words of my Pop, I pull my boot straps up. In response to “WHAT could you do?” I realize that prayer is exactly what I do in this situation. And after I’m done praying- really praying, not those two second prayers that I call “praying” sometimes- I get my praise on. I thank the Creator of the universe for giving a crap. (Yeah I said it.) Thank you God for giving a crap about me. That is truly my prayer of thankfulness this morning. I’m just trying to be real and say something true and be honest. Because some days that flowery stuff just doesn’t cut it. Being a Christian in this world, at this time, is hard because we forget that we’re human. We don’t allow ourselves the luxury of just being who God loves and who He created. He knows exactly what’s going on in your head. He knows how you feel right now and He knows how much strength it takes to get up again after being knocked to the ground again. He knows some days I can’t even find my boots, much less the straps. Don’t let the enemy tell you on the lie that God doesn’t care. Because even on those days that all you want to do is lay low, cry, and give heed to the lies, the truth remains. It still remains that God loves you so much that He sent His only Son to pay the price. There is nothing more important than that and whatever you’re facing today, face it. Head on. Look it in the eye, and say “My God is bigger. My God is better. And my God will take care of me.” And in the words of my kids’ favorite story, David and Goliath, in their children’s Bible: “You fight with a spear and sword, but I fight in the name of God!” And David knew how to move a rock or two.
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