Fits and Blessings


My 2-year-old threw himself down on the floor. He wanted a sucker and there was nothing that would stop him today. I admired his persistence. The only hitch in this story that truly baffled me was that he already had one. The red, heart-shaped sucker he had chosen was in his mouth. On this particular occasion, he was upset because he…hmmmm…I try to remember his age and do my best not to rationalize or analyze or any of the other “i/yze’s” but “pathologist/therapist” is in my job title. It’s difficult to separate sometimes between others’ situations requiring diagnosis and treatment and my own 2-year old throwing a “typical” fit. (Even as I type “typical” I have to put it in quotes and wonder how typical it really is, as I make a note to research the latest findings on typical childhood development.)

Nonetheless, this event, this stressful, enraging, and blood-pressure-elevating-event (for both me and him, mainly me) got me to thinking if we do the same with God. We sit on our hypothetical kitchen floor, crying out to God that what we have is not what we want or what we ordered. It’s not how we pictured it; it’s not the same as the brochure or the commercial! I picture God with the same look of bewilderment I had and then laugh to myself at the thought of our Heavenly Father bewildered.

God saved me from a dead-end life. My life is certainly not what I thought it would be, but I think that’s a good thing. The enemy tried to kill off any dreams I had of prosperity and success. God saved me from that pit of despair. Now, even though I should know better, I sometimes sit wondering why I don’t have this already or what’s taking so long on that front? I don’t say the actual words, as that may be considered disrespectful, but  God, what are you doing right now that you can’t just send down a hefty check that will pull me out of this mess? What are you doing in regards to my health? Have you thought about what we talked about last week God? I chuckle as I type this because God is so incredibly patient with us isn’t He? Even when we’re on the floor frantically screaming that we don’t want that anymore, we want something different, surrounded by tears and blessings. Today I’m going to do my best to not overlook all God has already done in my life and trust that my future is still His too.


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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