Unapologetic Ex Slave


I am no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God. That’s how the song goes. It echoes in my mind as I think about the fears that encompass me these days: being a mom and a woman in my home, watching as my parents get older, striving to be a good wife, trying to be the best that I can be within my career, serving with a spirit of excellence. The fears that encompass those hats on my head have changed over the years. I am no longer afraid that I’ll turn back to drinking and I’m no longer afraid that I’ll go back to smoking, like I was for so long. That’s not what I look to for help anymore. Who I look to now has conquered those fears. So to think that He would not conquer the spirit that exists in my mind these days seems like, to wax poetic, a “bonehead move”. I have fears of what people will think of me that seem to dissipate more and more each day as I get closer to Him and His ideas of who I am and what I am to Him. See, His ideas and goals for me trump any of mine. His bucket list for me is so much cooler than the one I made for myself. God’s plans are always so much more amazing than anything we could ever hope and dream for ourselves. So why would we be afraid, when we have the greatest cheerleader cheering us on? I laugh as I say that because I’m sure some will take offense to me giving a visual of God with a set of pom poms and a cheeky grin, but what if He truly is our cheerleader? What if we let him be that for us? What if we allowed the finger-pointing image that we have of Him to dissolve into nothingness like it never ever was? And what if we believed each and every day that He truly wants what’s best for us? That no one and no thing can stand in the way of that? Who would we be then? We would not only be free from fear but we would chase after the things that are on God’s to do list. Wholeheartedly, boldly, unabashedly, and unapologetically. Can we stop apologizing to God long enough to accept His forgiveness? Can we stop apologizing to other people for how we are, allowing the personalities that God gave us to shine through? Can we accept other’s personalities and look upon their journey with a smile instead of that pointing finger? A life built around fear or scare tactics is no life at all. God is freedom. He is everything and without Him, we have nothing. And if any part of that statement makes you feel a little uneasy, or your pride gets a little bruised, then the enemy’s working on you. That little twinge you feel about not being able to believe that we need Him wholeheartedly is evidence that the enemy is on the attack. God’s life for you is fulfilled, abundant, healthy, and free from fear.


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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