Undeniably Shaky Confidence


Romans 10:10 It is with the heart man believes. Unshakeable faith. Unshakeable confidence in the Most High God. Is my faith and my confidence in God unshakeable? I don’t feel like it is and lemme tell ya why…since you’re such a captive audience. (Are you still reading?) I believe God can heal me. I believe He spoke to a family member and told her to tell me that I was healed of this disease. (uh-oh…lost a reader or two. I once heard that you can talk to God, but if you hear God talk to you, you’re considered crazy. Guilty.) I believe He can. I can even go as far as to say, He has. He has healed me. By His stripes, we were healed. Of anything. Cancer, chronic anything, pain, acne, anything that has a name and some that don’t. He healed us of it. I believe that. Where my confidence gets a little shaky and my ugly, rebel side rears up is the “manifestation” of my healing. I had no idea what that meant a few years ago when someone said, “It’s the manifestation of your healing that you’re waiting on.” OH. It’s all so clear to me now. Because in my head, those two things are one and the same. If I am healed, there are no more symptoms. If healing has manifested itself (see? Once you learn a new word, you can add different suffixes), there isn’t pain, fatigue, dizziness, etc. So I sit here, after years of believing I’m healed of this, with my heart…it’s way harder to believe it with my head and the eyeballs He gave me, and seeing minimal difference. Given, I am no longer in a SBR (*if you don’t know what this is, see previous post) but quite honestly, if I began to work as much as I wanted to, I’d be right back there. Every day I work, I have migraines, dizziness, fatigue, muscle pain, yadda yadda yadda. So, I’m healed. Huh. I feel as though I’d have to go to a completely different ball field to catch this on


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s