Less Overwhelmedness

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How do we trust? What do you trust? Do you trust that everything’s gonna work out ok or do you trust that it won’t? Do you trust the God Who created you or do you trust what the world says? How do we change our mindset? How do we go from discouragement to courageous?

We renew ourselves. And I don’t mean going to get a haircut, mani, and pedi, although that sounds wonderful. We stick our noses into the only living book out there, The Bible. God has a plan for our lives and we can live so much more abundantly (think happiness and less overwhelmedness) than what we are today.

If we take the time out, even if it means getting up earlier than usual, we will be restored and renewed and refreshed. For me, re-energized would be nice to have in there as well and I think it is. I’ve been having trouble making it through my days. Symptoms hit (trouble breathing, shooting pains throughout my body, dizziness, balance issues, muscle fatigue) and I collapse not knowing what to do. I will be seeing a rheumatologist next month. I’ve seen one before to no avail and I’m trying to trust that there are answers within this appointment. Until then, I’m using the time to learn to trust instead of stress and lose my hair, although I’m doing that too it seems, no matter how much I read. This article feels entirely too self-serving with complaints but I shall force myself to publish as it is honest. I have felt as though God is not listening. When the pains come, I pray or my husband prays, and guess what: the pains do not stop. I do not miraculously feel like getting up, doing my hair, and putting my makeup on. Immediately I think I’m doing something wrong. I didn’t use the right words, the secret unlocking code to God’s power. I know, however, this is not the case as many people in the Bible had no clue what to do and were healed. The woman with the blood issue (why is it always “the issue of blood”? Forgive me for changing it if you find that irreverent. It’s kinda throwin’ me off too.) knew that if she touched His clothes she’d be healed. That’s faith. The man on the stretcher, his buddies had enough faith to lower him through the roof. Faith. Trust. How do we get more?

I feel like I need an extra helping as I’m filled with this overwhelming sense of doubt. Doubt that this doctor will find anything, doubt that answers are out there, doubt that the meds will work, doubt that there are meds for whatever this is, doubt that this has a name, doubt that I want it to have a name.

The doubts outweigh the trust as you can see. I can say I trust God, but what does that really look like? Sitting? I can do that. Reading? I can do that. The plan for today’s mission in trust is to carry my Bible with me everywhere I go and open it as often as I think about opening it. Prayers that you will draw closer to God today.

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One response »

  1. I understand your doubts and frustrations, and I empathize completely. I have played the “I-must-not-have-prayed-correctly” game with myself so very many times when the fatigue does not lift, the answers don’t come, and the circumstances do not seem to change. Being chronically ill has been such a huge challenge to my faith. My grandmother was a very simple woman. I, on the other hand, like to examine the deep problems of life, turning them over and over in my mind — even as a child. And I always wanted to come to an answer. When I could not come to the truth or understand a situation, spiritually speaking, Granny’s simple reply would frustrate me: “There are just some things we will never understand this side of heaven.” Little did I know that all these years later I would take some comfort from her words. I wish I had a better answer for all of us who suffer. However, I know from the Word that you are on the right track. “I rise before dawn and cry for help. I have put my hope in Your Word.” – Psalm 119:147. Praying for God to sustain you in the valley and provide peace, understanding, and healing. (Psalm 56:8)

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