Soul Restoration


I am stressed out. Completely and totally, unbelievably-don’t-know-how-to-work-my-way-up-for-air-stressed out. Some people have a full plate, I have a buffet. Complete with extra fattening toppings at the end. I make lists, to-do, to-get, to-be, to-call, to-look-out-for, to-find-a-good-deal-on, the lists of lists are endless! I’ve gotten to a point where I can’t keep track of which notebook I put which list in, much less FIND that notebook when I need it. And don’t EVEN let me anywhere near Post-its.

I stopped myself, looked in the mirror, and began asking all the important questions: “WHAT is going on with you? WHY are you so stressed? WHERE do you possibly need to go that fast? WHEN are you gonna take a break? WHO are you trying to impress? HOW are you going to get everything in your overstuffed brain accomplished?”
Turns out the answer to the first one was a teary-eyed mumble. The second was, “I have SO MUCH to get done!” Third, “Everywhere (*I sighed for dramatic effect)…the bank, the grocery store, Diapers-R-Us, the under-utilized-these-days post office…” “I can’t possibly take a break right now! The kids are sleeping. Look at this house! There’s bills to be paid, floors to be mopped, AW CRUD! I just crushed a raisin into the carpet…and wait, what’s that over there? That had better be chocolate! Wait, I didn’t give her any chocolate.” And finally, the answer to the last question, “I’m certainly not impressing anyone as far as I can tell. Nobody even notices ANYTHING I do around here.”
I attempted to take a deep breath and about the time I did, a tension pain shot through my back. (This brought on another short-lived cry.)

Then I felt God say: Rest in me.
Me: Yeah, ok. Where God? When God?
Right here. Right now.
How God?
Turn that TV off.
What are we gonna do? Just sit here? In silence?

I didn’t have to ask “Why?” as I figured the answer might be “Because you’re a freaked-out, overanxious basketcase.” At this point in the conversation I was having with the Almighty Creator of the Earth, I began to chuckle, (possibly guffaw, but I’m not sure I’m doing it correctly) then laugh out loud. I suddenly didn’t worry about waking the babies. I didn’t care that I had no idea what we would eat for dinner tomorrow or how we would pay this bill or make room in the budget for that, or that I somehow miscalculated and have no long pants for my little boy for the winter. I laughed, I breathed, I relaxed, and I even cried some happy, God-You-are-so-cool tears. He restored my soul. They say that God won’t hunt you down and make you do anything. After tonight, I’m not sure I believe that. He knew my heart’s cry and made it all better, like a mommy kisses an owie. Thank You God for reminding me that I am only human and I can do nothing without You. Special prayers tonight for all those with crying hearts and souls in need of restoration.


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

2 responses »

  1. My Friend: when your plate is too heavy, its time to prioritize your priorities. Go over your plans, what’s the most important, what can you delay for a while, take some time to pamper yourself, new hairdo? Go to a healthclub and use there whirlpool, it will really refresh you. You go girl, you can do this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s