Smooshed Soldier?


I believe it was Charles Stanley that said to remember to “HALT” and never allow yourself to become too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Here within the past couple of days, I think I’ve been a some sort of Spanish version (HALTOS) because I am not only all of the above, but “Overwhelmed” and “Stressed” can easily be thrown in the mix as well. I applied for a job, after not working on even a steady basis since 2009, and instantly it’s like I forgot all the spiritual work I’ve put in within the past 3 years! I thought I was training myself up to be a soldier and not just any soldier! A Christian MOM soldier! That’s good enough for any resume! After filling out the application, turning in my resume, and personally heading in to the facility to speak with the Head Gal, (I’ve got to stop using that word, it makes me feel like an 80-year-old man) my mind began racing: “What would I do with my daughter? How will I dress? Where’s my college textbook on the subject? I have to find that! I think it’s in the closet…why is it in the closet? I should have that out studying it every day for just this occasion so that I know everything there is to know in my field! I’m so inadequate! I really…oh boy, why would they hire me?”
Holy heifer!! I just went from a soldier to an ant ready and willing to be smooshed! Our mind is a powerful thing and it can propel us forward or take us 3 or more steps back each and every time we think. We are constantly under attack and the mind is our battlefield. (God bless you for your insights Joyce Meyer! If you haven’t read “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce, read it! I don’t get any kickback, but if anyone knows how I possibly could, let me know.) We have to train our brains! We have to tell our human minds what God says about us. I stood looking in the mirror that day saying to myself, over and over, “If God wants me to have it, it’s mine. If God wants me to have it, it’s mine.” And also, “If God doesn’t want me to have it, I don’t want it!” I’ve come to a place in my life where I want to walk in His will and His alone. My will took me places I never want to go back to and am so very thankful God delivered me from! So, while I wait for that phone to ring (you don’t have to sit by it anymore, you can take it with you! Ha! I’m not an elderly gentleman!) I’m not only going to study that text, but my Bible as well and refresh my mind…over and over and over again.


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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