Bruises and Wisdom

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Her first bruise. Ouch! It was so much more painful for me somehow than it ever could have been for my one-year-old, newly-toddling, daughter. I turned my back for a split second, heard a thud, which was promptly followed by a scream only used for such occasions. My first thought was to make sure she was alright, as images of me sitting bedside a hospital bed came to mind, waiting on test results, praying she didn’t lose conciousness, the doctor walking in… “I let her fall. I wasn’t looking at her for that moment and she fell and smashed her head. If only I had been watching her more closely! If only I hadn’t gotten hungry! I just had to have warm pizza! If only…” I gave myself a mental slap and came back to the faith-filled realm I profess to live in, as opposed to the natural, worldly one that states every mother has to feel worry, guilt, and blame every moment of the day.
Sometimes we beat ourselves up so badly our own family wouldn’t recognize us if we showed actual bruises! God has a plan for each of us and we are to trust in that plan. We trust that Romans 8:28 is done and Amen. We are to thank God for not giving up on us and loving us no matter how we treat Him or ourselves. Sometimes we have difficulty trusting God because He isn’t always in our face, loudly encouraging us to keep going, keep pushing, strive onward toward the goal!
Just like it wasn’t my fault that my daughter fell, it’s not God’s fault that we fall at times. He trusts us enough to let us go our own way, knowing full well that with His help, we have the power, strength, and motivation to get back up! We are bound to fall short, sometimes more than once daily, but that’s in the plan too. Sorry to tell some of you, but this doesn’t surprise God at all. He accounted for this. He doesn’t dictate what or how we do things. We, as His children, have to be willing to look to Him for the guidance we need. He doesn’t constantly shout like a football coach how we should run or which way. It’s up to us to look to Him for His answers and His leading. He will direct our paths, but only if we let Him. We have to trust that He is everything we need Him to be. I pray this month that we can look to Him for wisdom, knowledge, and counseling more than we ever have before.

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About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2, married to the best man in the world for 10 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms some like to refer to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I refer to them as past symptoms as I believe God is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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