Awesome Wings

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So, today’s the day I write down what God woke me up with a couple nites ago…The enemy has been battling with my mind, body and anything else he can this past week. I’m back to where I feel like fighting. Not that I’m much of a fighter most days, but for him, I’ll make an exception. Within the past week, my child has been teething, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer, my husband and I have not been able to communicate effectively, I’ve been mad at a woman I know, I haven’t felt like going to church, I haven’t felt like getting out of bed due to physical pains…I think I could go on, but I choose not to. My first instinct was to lay down, literally lay down and cry. My next was to take a nap. I read a wonderful devotion by Charles F. Stanley that said to remember “HALT.” Never allow yourself to become too “Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired” and I’ve thought about it a lot. Over the past few years after being diagnosed with a syndrome, I’ve learned to listen to what my body tells me and work from there. So, I realized that molehills often look like mountains if you’re too tired to deal with the hill or the mole. Once I woke up, I thought, “Ok, I’m ready to take on the world!” Immediately, my brain starts devising a plan: I’ll give my daughter these teething tablets and a ring, I’ve got to find one of those teethers say a prayer for her, call my grandmother to let her know I’m praying for her and find out who the doctor is to research him, talk to my husband about what’s goin’ on in this brain o’ mine, give the situation with a fellow sister time to heal or call her…maybe I’ll call her, choose right now that I’m going to church this Sunday, and begin training for my 5K, no matter what my body feels like. (*Cue inspirational music and possibly a workout montage like they do in the movies.) Awesome! Do you know where that left me? Tired. Just plain ol’ tired. Even though I had a plan, even though I’d created my mental to-do, I didn’t have the energy to focus or start, much less get it done! I realized I was trying to fix everything and maybe if I just said the right “prayer words,” I would be the catalyst that changed mine and these other individuals’ days and outlook! It suddenly hit me that I was trying to be, gulp, God. I wasn’t giving it to Him, I was trying to make something happen on my own. Oops…forgive me Father! Where does that leave me? Taking refuge under God’s awesome wings! (Ruth 2:12, Psalms 36:7). Not only did Ruth get the protection of the Most High God, she was rewarded for running to Him! Not only are the descendants of Adam (that’s us!) comforted, we are reminded of His unfailing, flawless love when we need it most! I picture a huge bird with a scared darling trying to fly and becoming so discouraged. That baby bird doesn’t need a pep talk (that’s for another day, if indeed birds could talk. Hey, wait, it’s my mental picture! This family of birds talks!) and doesn’t need a push out of the nest (although I’m sure some parents might disagree with me here, especially if your child is 47 and still living with you.) Speaking as that baby bird, all I needed was to know my Father cared about me in that moment. He cared enough to shield me from the attack as well as hug me and let me know I am His.

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About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2, married to the best man in the world for 10 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms some like to refer to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I refer to them as past symptoms as I believe God is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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