Write Again


Well, here it goes…I feel as though God wants me to write. Each time I pray about it, all I hear is write for now…right now. Gotta love God. He’ll never let you down if you look for answers in Him. Since my last entry I have become a mother. Whew. What can you say about motherhood? More than I have the energy to type to be quite honest. It’s so stressful and anxiety-laden at times. I’ve truly worked at not being nervous and yet if she coughs more than twice, i’m afraid she’s gonna explode a lung or something. Where does that come from?? Within 3 months of mothering, I completely understand a lifetime of worries my mama had! “Wear a coat, make sure you wear a hat, don’t run, you’ll break a toe!” Is that last one a common statement? It was in my house due to a pinky toe injury my father sustained. I want to be the best mom ever, yet not one that has to be perfect. I’m trying to roll with the punches, but feel like I’m takin’ em in every part of my anatomy. (Don’t even get me started on breastfeeding…simple and convenient my left cheek!) I treasure the time I have with her and love to look into her eyes as she looks up at mine. It’s true love all over again. It’s immeasurably more than anything I could’ve asked for and hoped for. I love that she holds my finger while she eats now and smiles at me in the mornings. I love that I no longer need to set an alarm as she is my alarm…whether she cries, hiccups, burps or farts. She is my everything and in such a short time! How does this happen? God had it all figured out and timed perfectly!A minute earlier and I wouldn’t have been ready. A minute later and I would’ve felt as though He were running late. I sit here in awe that He always knows just what I’m needing and when. As for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, well, that is just another brick on the road of life I stepped on to get to where I am. I believe I am healed. That doesn’t mean I don’ t have symptoms sometimes and that’s one of the most difficult things for me to accept. I still plan to run the good race as well as a 5K. I hope to do this very soon, possibly with a kid strapped to my back.


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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