No Push-But Still Crashed

Standard

the ups and downs of this life are unexplainable…and after you’ve been the proud owner of a “syndrome” you wonder if they’re due to that syndrome or just life in general. I have endlessly attempted to figure this crap out, changing my diet, altering my sleep schedule, getting ON a sleep schedule, exercising, cutting carbs, eliminating sugar, taking in more fiber than any pasture animal, and consuming supplements like they were the last bag of M & M’s. I have now reached a point where I am giving up for now.

The “push-crash” is enough to do you in. See, in CFS, this is supposedly a well-known term, something my mother has warned me about since I was diagnosed. It goes, “If you push yourself too hard, you will crash later inevitably.” It’s the crash part I have trouble with as I have had the pushing part down for years. The difficulty lies in the idea that I can’t shower, dress, and brush my teeth without becoming short of breath and crashing. I could understand if I was digging ditches or performing in a circus, but come on.

Pains, fatigue, migraines, moods, and immobile limbs have all come back. I had a day JUST like the one I had over a year and a half ago this week. HOW is that possible?? I’ve slurped up potions, fiber mixtures, downed literally 38 supplements a day, slept more than 14 hours just to wake up and say, “Yup, still tired.” I’ve tried chiropractors, massage therapists, nutritionists, detoxers…I’ve visited every known specialist; I’m currently scheduled for 5 appoinments with an accupuncturist and I hate needles. I am currently struggling with the idea that I am healed, that is what God has promised me. Since this is the case, which I believe in my heart it is, then why must I endure all this?

Advertisements

About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2, married to the best man in the world for 10 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms some like to refer to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I refer to them as past symptoms as I believe God is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s