A Problem with CFS

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well, here I sit…trying to work up the energy and the motivation to go outside for a walk. I was up to 2 1/2 miles per day, then my body decided that wasn’t such a good idea. A problem with CFS, I’m noticing, is that it somehow dictates when and where you can perform at your optimum. It is the day that you see your old boss or a new friend that your body says, “Hey, I feel grrrrrrrreat!” or “I can certainly move more slowly than that 85-year-old! Let’s try…” I thought maybe I could take control over it, be the commander of the ship, and  tell my body what to do instead of vice versa. That is proving to be more of a feat than I originally planned. I hurt. I’m tired. I just woke up from a nap and my body is in no way energized.

I walked over 2 miles the other day and then “paid for it” for the next 2 days. It is this kind of thinking that keeps me from going out, yet makes me more determined. Determination overfloweth in me. I will not lose this battle. I will not lose this war. The enemy can continue to fight, but so will I. I will endure and keep pressing toward my prize. This is only a small obstacle and the pains, spasms, fatigue, and migraines are temporary. I will do this. I will not back down. Now I just need to find my shoes.

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About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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