As I sit here making a list of all the things I need to do today on a post-it that isn’t nearly big enough, I begin to realize that a relationship with God isn’t scheduling Him into your day (i.e. Bible study at 4pm, or read Bible) it’s involving him in your day. Continuously thinking about what He would tell this person or that, looking to Him and simply wondering what He would say in that situation. A relationship is defined as “a connection, association, or involvement.” (*Thanks dictionary.com!)
We are supposed to have a connection to God. I used to think this meant prayin’ on your knees 8 times a day, going to church 3 times a week, and speaking about nothing but what the Pastor said. I’m here to say this might work for some, but it sure didn’t me. I didn’t feel any association with God…in fact, I felt a lot further from Him at times. I finally began to seek Him out, meaning I truly wanted to read more about Him and talk with others to find out who He was. It was when I began to do this that I got to know Him. He no longer had a stern scowl on His face when I pictured Him looking at me. Anyone who’s ever been in trouble with a parent knows the look I’m talking about. I felt for so long that I couldn’t do anything to please Him…but the truth of it was: I wasn’t trying.
I heard on the radio last night a woman saying anything we go through that makes us need God is a blessing. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with CFS that I began to understand this. I don’t pretend to understand everything about this syndrome, nor do I use it as an excuse; but I do know that it has in a strange way, been a blessing to my life. It has brought me closer to God in a way that I had never experienced before. It has made me call out to Him and trust that He is there and going to answer my prayers. And Praise God, He has! Time and time again.