Another MD appt. today…thanks to meds i am functional. Functional meaning I can be up for about an hour before my body tells me I need to collapse for about 2. The questions I really want the answers to, no doctor can answer: How do I know when I’ve recovered/and am capable of working again? My body is telling me it needs to rest, but for how long? What do I do now?
I don’t mind the syndrome. I know what that is. CFS leaves me unable to move and speak. CFS renders me immobile at times. CFS affects every aspect of my life from friends to family. I know all these things. For over 6 months now I know these things. I mind what I don’t know. I don’t know how long it will continue. I don’t know how long I’ll have to take 3 naps a day. I don’t know how many meds are too many meds. I don’t know how I can sleep for 16 hours straight on a regular day. I don’t know what’s causing my legs and arms to aches. I don’t know why there are sharp, stabbing pains in various parts of my body. I don’t know all these things. Sadly, neither does the doctor I’m about to go see.
I heard last night that a man tells his “spirit what his body will do.” my spirit’s too tired to talk.