My Spirit’s Too Tired to Talk


Another MD appt. today…thanks to meds i am functional. Functional meaning I can be up for about an hour before my body tells me I need to collapse for about 2. The questions I really want the answers to, no doctor can answer:  How do I know when I’ve recovered/and am capable of working again? My body is telling me it needs to rest, but for how long? What do I do now?

I don’t mind the syndrome. I know what that is. CFS leaves me unable to move and speak. CFS renders me immobile at times. CFS affects every aspect of my life from friends to family. I know all these things. For over 6 months now I know these things. I mind what I don’t know. I don’t know how long it will continue. I don’t know how long I’ll have to take 3 naps a day. I don’t know how many meds are too many meds. I don’t know how I can sleep for 16 hours straight on a regular day. I don’t know what’s causing my legs and arms to aches. I don’t know why there are sharp, stabbing pains in various parts of my body. I don’t know all these things. Sadly, neither does the doctor I’m about to go see.

 I heard last night that a man tells his “spirit what his body will do.” my spirit’s too tired to talk.


About chronicchristian

I am a mother of 2 children who I realized not long ago I can't call "toddlers" anymore, married to the best man in the world for 12 years and chasing after what God wants for my life. I currently deal with some symptoms and have for the past 9 years, that resemble an autoimmune illness. Currently my own body is attacking my thyroid (seems it could find something better to do) and the doctors I've seen are at a loss as to what the plan might be. I believe God has the very best plan and that He is doing something awesome and she who guards her lips guards her life. This blog is good therapy. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me. God is good and I intend to prove it.

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