Here I sit, numbing agents worn off, with 4 new crowns. They’ve always said you get crowns in heaven, I wasn’t aware until yesterday that I would receive them here on earth as well. Temp crowns even, I hope the ones in heaven are more permanent. It’s been a “big day,” as my mom would unwaveringly state when we were tired as kids. No matter the situation, whether we’d hung around all day watching Zach chase Kelly on Saved by the Bell or mowed 5 acres with the push mower.
My big day has consisted of the dentists’ office visit, which is not a frequent visit for me as I tend to require medications recognized as “downers” when I stop in. I realize the fear of dentists is not an original one. I try to be different since “normal people” tend to scare me severely. It’s not that I’m terrified of the dentist himself, it’s more a) what he’s going to do with that large gun with a shiny needle-like point b) how many times he plans to utilize that gun of sorts c) whether there is enough anesthetic (I have actually been caught trying to turn the nitris to the highest level before the hygienist walked in) d) whether that anesthetic will wear off while the high-pitched buzzing runs through my cochlea e) how I will pay for this carnival-like experience. The things I enjoy, well, are few, but I love with all my heart to look at all the employees’ teeth. I would rank this somewhere between finding a brand new Victoria’s Secret bra at Goodwill and finding a 20 dollar bill in last years jeans. Their teeth are usually beautifully white, impeccably straight, with just the right amount of “flaws” to let everyone know they’re not dentures. I might eat a frog for teeth like that. I had braces for years, but still don’t have teeth like that. And quite frankly, I think it’s time to surrender the fantasy. I went for a consultation with an orthodontist a couple years ago and he deemed me “braces-worthy.” I can’t even imagine going back to all those emotions and feelings of isolation. Not to mention, now they have hearts and stars instead of the plain square brackets that scream I need more help than that from an orthodontic professional.
It is Wednesday and that means it’s Career Improvement Day. I plan to read 1 chapter in a dysphagia book. Yesterday in honor of Self Improvement Day, I spent 1/2 as much time reading as I did on the computer. It gave me a full hour to read in a book called, “Praying for a Change,” by Suzette Caldwell.